Oops

Apparently the Newbie has no will power, and flattery WILL in fact get you everywhere. Well, to Balham. To a bedroom in Balham. Damn it!

It seems like an age since I last wrote. I was pulled out of my fug of self pity by the amazing Jen Star who turned up on Valentines eve and gave me love and cuddles and a lot of laughing. I cooked posh chicken kievs and we put the world to rights before eating our body weight in chocolate and singing along very loudly to the Rent soundtrack. Then we went to the pub and met a cast of comedy characters and had a boogie. We ended up staying up til seven in the morning talking about poetry and reading. Could not have been more awesome.

On Monday the hairy Kiwi, who is hairy no more, got on a plane to NZ and we had a bit of coffee that morning and had a nice chat about everything and nothing. He's since been in touch to inform me that he was upgraded to business class on the flight to Oz and that he had arrived in Sydney safe and sound. All is well with us and hopefully I'll not go mental again in the too near future.

And then last night I met up with Mr B to go to the theatre - a ten minute play which hardly seemed worth the effort somehow. I had been really unsure about whether to go at all as I wasn't sure that spending an evening listening to him being all effusive about his new girlie was the best way to go, but he seemed really keen to see me so I thought ok, if it's horrid or a bit uncomfortable making I can just head off early on. I arranged to meet another friend early on so it ended up not being just the two of us.

The three of us had a lovely evening even though the play was fairly dreadful, and then my friend headed off as unlike either me or Mr B she had work in the morning. We tripped off for a very late dinner and more drinks in Soho and I was telling him about falling out with the Kiwi. He was very insistent that if I got sad he would always be there for me and I should talk to him and I asked what I should do if it was him that had had that effect on me. He sounded really relieved that I'd said that I was thrown by the Sweden trip and it sort of opened the floodgates and he started to tell me how it had been not that great with this girl. We sat down in Cafe Boheme and (rather tipsy at this point) we were talking about us - he was saying nice things; how he missed me, how we had had the best sex of his life hands down, bla de bla.
I was drunk and his eyes were all big and dark and he was very sweet.

We walked towards a night bus stop and he kept stopping me and kissing me, or pushing me up against things to kiss me. At one point I almost fell through a gate which was not as sturdy as he thought. Smooth! We got back to mine and that was the end of that. We had a lovely lazy morning this morning and it's just left me wondering how I'm going to feel about this slip in a week or so. Does this mean that I should avoid him as I have no will power if he says the right things? Probably. But at least it was a good night and it made me feel great - I'm always surprised when he tells me how he feels about things and I'm also always surprised when he tells me that I mean something to him. Not sure what that says about me though, or about what I should do about it.