Things wot I have learned...

(Drury Lane, Theatre Royal, in the olden days - as they were officially known back then)

...In the last couple of days include:


1. Lots about theatre in the olden days.
2. That the amazing Lear had mixed reviews (but I still love it).

3. That I want to audition for something again.

4. That the Kiwi is brilliant.

I shall now impart some of my knowledge!!


1. Lots about theatre in the olden days.
Some of my lovely colleagues and I went on a Backstage Tour yesterday of a big old theatre in Drury Lane called the Theatre Royal on a bit of a Busman's holiday. Being tour guides at a theatre ourselves, we were debating beforehand whether to come clean about where we came from or pretend to be students but in the event we came clean. The tour started off a teeny bit cringily but once the girl and the guy who took us around realised that our little group of six were fairly knowledgable about theatre (four were us, the other two were an Italian couple, the female half of which was asking frighteningly intelligent questions) they left some of the staginess behind and tailored the tour for us a bit.


It was very interesting! We learned that the theatre has a Kings entrance and a Princes entrance because in ye olde days King George (the mad one) and Prince George (the one played by Hugh Laurie in Blackadder) had a fight in the foyer of the theatre because the king disapproved of the prince's drinking and bad behaviour.


We learned that around the turn of the 20th Century, there were a series of plays that had animals in them - one with about 15 horses harnessed up to the fly-tower so their feet were barely touching the floor and the floor was turned into a big running machine so the horses were cantering with a back-cloth of the Epsom race track flying by.


We learned that the theatre has an Elephant door because in one show there were four elephants which were too big to be housed at the Theatre Royal so each night they were led down the road to the Royal Opera House and lots of people would come and wait along the route to past the Elephants on their way home!


We learned that the theatre standing on the site now is the third incarnation of the Theatre Royal as the earlier two burnt to the ground. Ironically the second Theatre Royal was the first theatre to ever have an Iron safety curtain installed - necessary because the stage was lit by a huge chandelier with 200 candles on it, which was dropped closer to the stage for scenes set in daylight, and raised up for night time. The actors never washed their costumes (ick) but perfumed them instead, and wore large wigs. This was something of a fire hazard. So on the second time around an iron curtain was put in to be dropped if a fire broke out to protect the expensive part of the theatre (any part the audience could see - backstage was and is functional to say the least...) and a huge tank of water was kept above the stage to douse the flames. When a fire broke out 14 years after the new theatre opened they went to drop the safety curtain - which failed to work. It had rusted shut over the 14 years of never being tested. They opened the tank to douse the flames... which had no water in it. The theatre burnt to the ground. Again.


All lovely stories, I trust you'll agree!





2. Lear's mixed reviews

I was quite shocked to be honest! There are links to the National papers reviews on this brilliant website but a lot of them didn't like the first version which was performed in Liverpool which was apparently more gimmicky. They have definitely left out stuff in the Young Vic version but also lots of the things I liked about it were hated by the critics. In answer to Rosie's comment, Gloucester's eyes met the following sticky end; the Duke of Cornwall popped one out (with a very audible pop and spurt of blood) and Regan sucked the other out and spat it in a water trough. Then they got frisky. It was DISGUSTING. And slightly brilliant.


3. Audition ahoy!

I got an unexpected email from the theatre I usually perform with about auditions for a play called The Memory of Water. I'd never heard of it but it but the synopses sounded good so I looked it up and found out it was originally a Steppenwolf production. I saw August: Osage County recently and was blown away by it so now I'm itching to have a go at this one. Maybe I'll be treading the boards again soon?


4. Marvellous Kiwi

He is a clever one that little ex-hairy Bear. He wants me to assist with the creation of, and perform a ten minute musical monologue for the next writing thing, where I did my bit of writing for previously. We were messing around for it yesterday after recording the last little bit for the spy film soundtrack (not sure if I've mentioned it here before) which will be shown at Cannes short film festival later this year. I think. I sing a couple of bits on it and so far it has been seen by Danny Boyle and Gus Van Sant (apparently) which is exciting in a non-direct sort of a way... I can't imagine they're going to watch this film and "discover" me - the director, the actors and the composer of the soundtrack (the Kiwi) possibly, but not some bint singing a minute or two of mournful songs. Oh well, all good for the CV should I go mental and try to do anything professionally.


Tra la la. Now off to the pub!